22 December 2013

a sad day...

this has been edited to remove any names from the original post.

on friday, Dec 20, 2013 a death occurred. the death will be numbered with statistics of drug overdoses, which is sad.

if u know what "cheese" is, it is mixed with other potent stuff. apparently when he didn't show up for work, his manager called. when his (roommate) went to fetch him, they thought he was asleep. a (friend) went to his apartment and shook him, "u better get ur ass up, u r late for work". no response. they took a closer look and noticed that his mouth was wide open. he then proceeded to do CPR. but apparently he had been dead a while. even tho everyone offered to help him, he refused the help and continued to go down the path of drugs. and now he is gone. i hope and pray that the family and friends will have the strength to walk this painful path and give forgiveness to themselves and not blame themselves for what might have been, could i have done more.
it's not easy to let a friend walk a destructive path and watch, offering help with no response.

there is so much one cannot see when focused on a destructive path. i have noticed that one walking a destructive path can not see the good friends, life itself, and love that surrounds them. the focus is on that destructive path. how can one turn from that path? by making a choice to do it and clinging to life, good friends, and walking away from the destructive path.

is it easy? NO!

can it be done? YES!

how can it be done? that is up to the one that wants to turn from the destructive path. many try to do it on their own, believing there is no one who has experienced what they have. others reach out to family and friends for help. still others reach out to professionals.
those that turn from the destructive path on their own have a much more difficult road to travel. there is no one they can reach out to for help if they stumble or have trouble staying on the constructive path. those that reach out to family and friends may have difficulty with that but they know there is someone there they can talk to and be accountable to if they should stumble. and the ones that reach out to professionals find it is a bit easier to talk to strangers that have been down the same road and experienced similar things.

people reached out to him and offered help. i can only imagine what they felt when he quietly refused the help. i can only imagine what his friends r goin' thru right now. tho i have experienced the death of a friend, it is not the same. my friend did not die in this fashion. drugs do a "funny" thing to ya. from talking with others, drugs can make u feel invincible, confident, scared, and paranoid. they can also mask ur problems. but what i have found in listening to others, drugs make more trouble, problems, and leave u feeling lonely. and that can make u feel like no one really cares when the opposite is true.
this person had family that loved and cared about him, friends that loved and cared about him, but he brushed it aside for the drugs. he wanted the "pleasure" that drugs gave him. but in the end, the "pleasure" was short-lived and ended up killing him. now all that is left r family and friends that r saddened and hurt. time will heal the hurt and sadness but the memory will not so easily be forgotten.
the one thing i left out of the above paragraphs that is the answer to all problems is JESUS. i know the answer to one's drug problem. i know the answer that will heal all sadness and hurt. many do not want to hear the answer because they believe they have to prove themselves or just don't want to accept that answer. JESUS is the answer to all questions, addictions, problems one might experience. JESUS has helped many that have chosen to hold His hand as they turn from a destructive path to a constructive path. has it been easy? NO! is it worth it? YES! the constructive path JESUS helps us walk will heal us tho it seems to be destroying us even more. JESUS knows that until one is broken, as He himself was broken, one cannot walk the constructive path with victory. remember, in the Bible it says that JESUS was broken before He walked from the grave. once broken, JESUS was able to once again walk a victorious, constructive path.
walking the constructive path does not mean there is no more chance of a destructive path presenting itself. with JESUS holding ur hand, the destructive path is not so appealing. and if one still takes a detour, JESUS is waiting for u to take hold of His hand once again so He can help u return to the constructive path. and each time a destructive path presents itself, if u have committed to following the constructive path, following a destructive path becomes easier to deny.

choices r the key here.

JESUS will NOT force u to do anything. but He will guide u and encourage u to stay the course and walk the constructive path even when there is trouble. u see, He knows the outcome of the destructive path and there r only so many chances for one to turn from it. He also knows the outcome of the constructive path, which in the long run, will build faith and strength within.
Kevin's chances apparently were running out when he chose to take the drugs he combined together.

the destructive path leads only to death no matter how long one may live. the struggles on the constructive path builds hope, strength, faith, confidence, and a longing to live life to the fullest. the destructive path is full of lies, deceit, pain, hopelessness, and finally death. the constructive path leads to life.

which path, destructive or constructive, have u chosen to walk?

my prayers go out to the family and friends of Kevin Jesttes. may God strength, comfort, and hold them close in this time of sadness. i also pray that God will let them see that there is light at the end of the sadness. as it says in Psalms 30:5b: "weeping may endure for a night (time), but joy comes in the morning." May the family and friends of Kevin be comforted and remember the good times that brought joy to all of them.


06 December 2013

cold? what do u mean cold?

it is officially very, very, very, very cold here in N. TX. this is highly unusual for this part of the country. the temp is 28 degrees and will likely fall into the high teens or even lower before mornin'. the weathermen r saying the chill could be -10. if u don't know what that means, it means 10 degrees below 0. it is definitely goin' to be a very, very, very, very, very, very cold nite. more wet stuff is due to fall tomorrow thru monday and maybe tuesday with the temps staying below freezing.

the good part of this deep, hard freeze: the bugs r being frozen and killed. :) it should be a lot nicer when the spring returns to our part of the world. that will be good as we have had more than our share of those flying and crawling pests.

the cold wet weather also brings problems for those that have to work, play, or get out and about. in Stillwater, Oklahoma at Boone Pickens Stadium, a game will be played known as Bedlam. it's a very contested game as Oklahoma University plays Oklahoma State University. both universities have formidable football teams. my hubby is a huge OSU Cowboy fan as am i. ORANGE! - POWER! tho the weather will not be a friend to either team, the game will be played. i can only hope that the players, fans, coaches, and ump/refs can stay warm and keep the game moving. GO POKES!

life here in the freeman family household is moving right along. other than doin' our best to stay warm, hubby is doin' well at his new job. he likes the environment and comes home non-stressed. quite nice really. the only thing i DO NOT like is the length of time it takes him to get home. i am crocheting more and making things other than blankets. in fact, i made my first scoodie, scarf-hoodie combo. check out my crochet blog i am in the process of setting up a store to showcase and sell my finished projects. i am excited about doin' something i so enjoy.
our dog Kaylee is not liking the cold but is tolerating it when she has to go outside to do her business. we have lost one trunk of a split redbud tree in the front yard, a few branches from our holly tree. my roses r weighed down with frozen ice. the other plants r also covered with ice. i'm hopin' that the roses can recover for spring. the other trees r holding up but we don't know what will happen if more rain/sleet falls. since God is in charge of creation, i'm hopin' and prayin' that He will take care of them.

well, that's about it for now. 8)

08 November 2013

WOW! it's November!

time sure has passed quickly these past few months.
time seems to be moving more quickly these days. at least that's what i think. the summer just seemed to slip away and fade into autumn. and now the temps outside let u know that the summer heat is gone and the cooler weather is in full swing.
don't get me wrong, i really like the cooler temps and all. it's just that TIME seems to be moving faster giving less time to enjoy the changes. time seems to stop when something happens totally unexpected and speed back up after the reality has sunk in. time is something that does not wait for anyone. it keeps moving forward and never backward. time. time can be an ally or it can be an enemy. time really knows no boundaries. time just keeps marching on.
so what i have i done with my time? sadly, not much really. i wake up in the mornin', do my mornin' routine, then daily chores, and maybe some crocheting. but what do i really do with my time? on some days, i just play games or watch videos on my laptop. i often wonder where i would be if in time past, i had made other choices. but that time is in the past. i can't make time stop. i can't turn time backward. time only goes forward. in my mind, i see a different time, a better scenario. but in reality time, my life is as it is. there is nothing i can do about time past. so y did i, for many years, try to go back in time and try to change things when all i did was stop living in real time? my time here, now is what i must live in. this time, i must make the best of.
but how can i make the best of my time when i am usually thinking about myself?
i have spent a lot of time thinking about me. i think about what i want, what i need, and what i would like to have. i have spent time doin' what i want, taking away from other's time, and not using my time wisely. so how can i use my time wisely? how can make my time count for something?
that's a lot to think about. it is also something i can definitely change.
but changing how i make my time count can be challenging. am i up for that challenge?
when i get up in the mornin', i have begun to thank God for the little things He has given me. i thank Him for my hubby and another day to smile and spend time with him. then i do what i want to do as i wake up and try to get motivated for the day. time is so constant, steady, and nonstop. some days i just do nothing with that time and it's lost forever. other days, i get things done and have time to spare. and then there r days i just feel like ... (u fill in the space). i have time that will be used up and i don't understand or know where it went. so i stop. i talk to Daddy. i'm glad He's a good listener. sometimes i hear Him talk to me. but i always know He listens. He takes the time to hear my heart's cry not just my words. the time i take for Him seems small compared to the time He gives me. but i am grateful for the time He shares with me.
there r only 24 hrs in a day. how will i use them? and what kind of surprises will those hours bring?

07 November 2013

Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood Perform 'Obamacare by Morning'

short video that will make u smile/laugh.


15 September 2013

update on my poison ivy experience and other stuff

the poison ivy is in complete remission now!

since September 1st, i have been dealing with a very severe (for me) case of poison ivy when i wrecked goin' down an embankment on a trail ride. the past few weeks have been very trying for me. finally on Saturday, i took my first warm shower and used my regular soap. the shower was absolutely wonderful and relaxing. before finishing the shower, i rinsed in cool water to help the pores close, just in case. as i went thru my day watching college football, i checked the areas for any new outbreaks. none happened.
when hubby went for his bike ride, i shaved my legs for the first time in weeks. it has been a full day and no new outbreaks have appeared. i am so happy that i can finally get back to doing everyday things and finally, get back on my bike. i am hoping to get on the bike for a short ride on Monday. we'll see if i can as wet weather is forecasted. i am looking forward to getting back into the riding routine. i have really missed it.
hubby is doin' lots of stuff around the house. seems he is finally motivated to get things done. we have some nice color in the dining room and laundry room. the shelves in the laundry room have also been done. i have the accent wall done in the craft/computer room. he even repaired the washing machine. FINALLY! no more washer overflowing. the next thing he said we'll do is put color in the living room and possibly the other rooms. the master bath was the only room with color. finally getting rid of the sterile feeling walls. now i have to get hubby off the green color. i want the living room to be more soft with browns and what i call a wet sand color. we'll see how all that works out. 8)
as for how i am feeling: i guess the word is tired. i have been sleeping on the couch so i didn't spread it to my hubby as he slept on the bed. tonite, i am gonna get a good nite's sleep as i am finally sleepin' in my bed. my skin still itchy but it's the healing itch that i am dealing with now. the redness is not so noticeable anymore. so hopefully, the outline will soon become less and less until it finally totally disappears.

the patience i have had to exhibit during this time was a lot. i had to be patient with myself and keep a routine of cleaning the skin with Dawn dishwashing liquid in the cooler shower was truly trying. but Holy Spirit was with me thru it all. i am grateful that God continued to help me as i endured the itching, cleansing, and application of anti-itch stuff. believe me, i did not really want to do any of it most of the time. one reason was because my upper chest and shoulders were painful. i didn't want to do anything! lounging was the only thing i really wanted to do. but, i did not do that. i tried to do as much as i could. i stayed away from cooking, crocheting, watching the grandkids, and being outside.
today i watched the grandkids as their parents enjoyed the Rangers game and i cooked a complete dinner. i also finally got the dishes done. it was really nice to enjoy my grandkids and cook again. hopefully, my stamina will build again and i won't be so tired. think a really good nite's sleep will do the trick. 8)

Praise the Lord! i am blessed!

08 September 2013

poison ivy... not something i have enjoyed.

here's an update since the my last ride blog.

since that ride, i have not ridden the bike due to the pain in my shoulders and the poison ivy that i am dealing with.
it has now been 2 weeks since the bike accident. the pain in the shoulders, bruises, and scratches r healing nicely. the poison ivy however is a different story. the poison ivy has spread and the rash looks worse than it actually is. the rash is finally beginning to dissipate but the little poison ivy bumps seem to continue to spread. i have been keeping the areas clean and all but it don't look like it is goin' away. i am however, a bit concerned cuz there is a patch of it on my left breast that i am carefully taking care of. i am hoping that it don't cause any problems. so far, so good. i have spent most of my days/nites on the couch so i don't spread it to my hubby.
speaking of my hubby, he has been a real trooper thru all this. at times, he's a bit frustrated that he has to spend money on the stuff i need to take care of the poison ivy at times but he does it. hubby has also been accommodating with the TV in the living room. he watches what i want as he don't want me in the bed with this stuff. i have the best hubby in the world. i am blessed to have such a great guy.
here's what i have to do during the day to make sure the poison ivy is taken care of: after waking up, i have to wash each and every area with Dawn dish soap. Dawn neutralizes the poison. then i dab each and every area with rubbing alcohol which helps to dry it out. after the alcohol dries, i put on the anti-itch stuff. i also take an antihistimine that helps greatly. then i stand until the gel stuff is dry enough to put a shirt on. a few hours later, i repeat the alcohol and gel stuff. i can always tell when it's time to re-apply the gel, it starts to peel and itch.
i have not really done much around the house except vacuum and help hubby when i can. it's been quite frustrating. i am hoping that the poison ivy will be gone by next week cuz i am watching the grandkids while their parents go to a Rangers' game. GO RANGERS!!

my crotchet projects r almost ready to sell. i have to finish the gluing the flowers to the stems and putting one blanket together. all of that stuff has been on hold due to the poison ivy. been quite a bummer for me. i have also been off the computer due to the heat this thing generates. it actually irritates the poison ivy on my arms.

to be restricted on most of my favorite activities, has been a real bummer. but hopefully i can start enjoying them soon enough. until then, i will continue on the road to recovery and healing. i miss my bike the most, however. riding the bike is such a relaxing thing to do. i can't wait to ride again.
until next time, keep smiling and praising God. keep ur eyes on the Him and u can conquer all.


08 August 2013


well, got my floors cleaned today. 8)
am working on getting my stuff ready to sell in a front yard craft sale along with some stuff we no longer need. bike riding is coming along. however, i have not ridden in the past few very hot 100 degree days. am hoping that it will cool off soon to continue riding during the day. however, i am considering a ride well after the sun goes down. we'll see.
there is not much happening right now. i am trying to declutter my home and keep it clean. it's not easy for as i like to hold on to some things.
we r preparing to go on camping trip soon. (hopefully, the money will be there.) still a few things that r a little expensive but once gotten, it's not needed until it needs to be replaced. did a repair job on one of the tents. not a bad job after the inspection by hubby. i'm a bit tenative about doin' things like that. don't want to destroy the thing. but with practice i'm getting pretty good. we will go thru the stuff one more time before we actually go on the trip.

Aug 5th, i wished my oldest daughter a happy birthday. she was born on a Monday morning at 0631 hrs. my water broke around midnite on Sunday nite. hubby was outside messing with the car. we were staying with the Kolb family at that time. we had just moved to Oklahoma in July that year. i called as quietly as i could for him to come in. but he did not want to be bothered. he gets that way when he's trying to fix something. i called a lot louder and the entire house came running. mom kolb calmed me as i was a bit nervous, and she helped me call my parents. i wasn't having any contractions yet. no pain whatsoever in fact. as i dressed, hubby got the car ready by putting a towel on the seat just in case. he gets in to drive and said, "if we get caught speeding, they can follow us to the hospital where they can give me the ticket." so off we went, he went as slow as 55 mph on the road in town then kicked it up to 70, and sometimes higher, slowing only for turns and tight curves. i was still having no contractions or pain. we got to Stillwater Medical and i was admitted. hubby waited for the family to arrive. i was actually able to sleep from about 0130-0530 hrs. with the nurses keepin' an eye on my situation, i rested. around 0545 hrs they decided to get my labor goin' so they induced me with that drug and 45 minutes later a beautiful baby girl lay in my arms.
i was apprehensive but made up my mind that i made the right choice. at 8lbs 9oz, my first child, a girl, was perfect and beautiful. about 8 hrs after her birth, my parents showed. they thought they had plenty of time before their first grandchild made her entrance. they were wrong. 8) but their first grandchild initiated them well, especially my dad. tho the pic is no where to be found, i still remember it. she had just finished lunch, dad wanted to hold her. as he held his first grandchild, she filled her diaper. and it leaked out onto his shirt. a pic was taken. and that is how the first grandchild initiated her granddad. 8)
that memory is so vivid in my mind. it still brings a smile to my face.

in other news:

hubby is doin' good. he is riding the bike more often now, even in the heat.

cleaned the inside of the car out and he fixed a few things that rattled. really nice now. however the rear seat cup holder has to be replaced. no hurry tho, don't use it much right now. now we need to wash the outside of the car. 8)

i am getting my crotchet organized. finishing up the projects i want to sell at a craft sale i'll have in the next few weeks. just a local one right now. working on getting the internet store up. will be a little longer for that as it costs to get set up.

other than that, life is good, relaxing, and exciting. i am blessed.

29 July 2013


posted my ride from last nite and i was very pleasantly surprised to see that my average cadence jumped so high. 8) that means my challenge is now to keep it there. that's the real challenge as well as build on it. as i build on it, i will be able to take longer and longer rides. and riding my bike is so relaxing! i love it! shouldn't be long now that i can keep up with my hubby.
i am blessed! i have a husband that loves me!
in the past week or so, we have been gearing up for a camping/trail riding time.
it's been quite fun. even slept in the tent one nite while it was up and airing out. took 45 mins to put up but that will change with practice. and we will do it a couple more times b4 we actually leave. 8) have made sure that all the stuff we have is in good working order and if not, have gotten it fixed. still deciding on what we really want to bring food-wise but we still have plenty of time to make that final decision. the only thing i won't get to practice is cooking on that portable stove. (but maybe i can talk hubby into that. we'll see.)
with all the prep, the closet is empty and is in definite need of cleaning. so... i will be doin' that today b4 the stuff gets tucked back in. there is not much to do really.
in other news, hubby has been released from the doc to do full activity on his left knee. it will take time to get all the ligaments, tendons and such back to normal but this will not inhibit his activity. he is taking it easy as he gets back into full swing with riding his bikes. (hopefully, he'll start riding twice a day on the weekends.) the other nite he awoke suddenly with a very nasty leg cramp. it was so bad that he woke me up with his loud cries of pain. it took a good 30 mins or more for that cramp to release. and he could still feel it in the morning, yesterday. but all is good now.
i am doin' really good. i am planning on having a small craft sale in the next couple of weeks. i am really hoping to sell my blankets and crotcheted roses. this is a big step for me as i have never done something like this. i'm hoping that having a craft sale close to school starting will help. i have been asking God to bless each project. it's up to Him what happens as long as i step out and put hands and feet to it.
well, that's about it.

11 July 2013

my thoughts...

well, my family that was close is now gone. they have decided to move back to Washington. i am not happy about mom being so far away again.
it's not an easy thing to want your family part of ur life and then not able to be part of it. for many yrs i have lived far enough away that visiting is difficult. right now i hurt so bad inside that i have no idea how to deal with it.
i do have one light in my life that is beginning to shine bright. and that light is my BFF. get to spend time with her tomorrow all day. will be really nice. tho today, i thought i had more day to wait. it's actually Friday tomorrow. how did i get one day behind? but i will do ok.
when i found out that my mom was goin' back to Washington, i was not at all happy about it. but since she stays with my brother, she goes where he goes. in 2007 they moved to Missouri and now they will return to Washington. a few times, mom wanted to come down for visits but each and every time, her plans were thwarted. not once did she come down by herself for a visit. two times my brother with family came down and b4 brianna got married, brian and brianna stopped by for about an hour b4 leaving for Missouri.
i love my family very much but i have never felt a part of it. guess that's because of my childhood and the choices i made. i am glad brian and drina get to go back to where they really want to be. but i am sad they will be so far away. not really for them but because my mom is goin'. so many times i would have loved to share time with her but can't cuz of the distance. and now with them being so far away once again, the distance will be much more difficult to cross. email, computers, and skype can't take the place of one being physically there. and u can't play a good card game over the phone/puter. it's just not the same.
MOM, i love u and i will miss u. have no idea when we can see each other again. have a safe trip.

10 July 2013


thought i would try to take a ride about this time: 1200 hrs. when i looked outside, the wind was almost nothing but the sun was hot. so i checked the weather here on my laptop.
by the time i would have been ready for my ride, the temp would be in the mid 90's. so i looked to see if riding when the sun is no longer shining would be possible. it is but the humidity will be about 60% or higher. so, what to do. it's more conducive to swimming than riding right now but i don't have a pool i can enjoy. not sure what hubby has planned for tonite. i guess, i will enjoy the A/C and watch the Ranger game i recorded last nite and get some crotcheting done.
be glad when the sun is not so hot outside during the day so i can enjoy it more. but that's Texas for ya. 8)

03 July 2013

something to ponder

the longer u hide what u don't want known, the longer it takes to conquer it. no matter what it is.
speaking with a friend, she shared with me about someone that was having trouble showing weakness. this person didn't want to appear weak in her eyes. the problem with that: most of the time, the weakness can be seen. the one trying to hide a weakness ends up showing it.
i, too, have had to learn this lesson. and this lesson is not an easy one to learn. my choices determine what my action. if i choose to "hide" something i don't want others to see, they see it anyway. body language gives it away.
y not just admit u have a weakness? it then becomes less of a problem for u and u can then face it head on. facing weakness head on strengths u overall cuz u learn u can overcome.
but, how can u admit weakness, overcome it, and be strengthened?
in order to admit weakness, u have to recognize it. for those that r Christians, a gentle prompting from Holy Spirit usually gets that done. sometimes Holy Spirit has to use other ways to get our attention but, if we listen to Him, He usually shows us the next step in taking care of it.
the next step is admitting the weakness and the need for help in overcoming it. some call this accountability. when we r accountable to another, we tend to stick with it. asking for help is not a weakness. asking for help is part of the process God uses to help us overcome, learn, and triumph. remember, even Job asked for help. being accountable when in the process of overcoming weakness strengthens one in mind and body. the spirit is strengthened by leaning on God's Word as u go thru the process. when i am in the process of overcoming a weakness, i remember Ps. 51:10: "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." right now, i working a weakness. my weakness is laziness. when i ask God to renew a right spirit within me, i am letting him know that i'm having trouble with my weakness. i also remember: "i can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me." so many scriptures that encourage me to continue to overcome my weakness.
i am strengthened each time i overcome that weakness, which makes it easier to face the next time it shows up. my spirit is also strengthened because God's Word is now part of my thinking process when the weakness decides to show it's ugly head. u r strengthened each time u overcome weakness.
but u might say, weakness is not always something u need to conquer or overcome. and i say to that, weakness has conquered u.
showing weakness does not mean u r weak, pussy, or push over. it takes strength just to admit any kind of weakness. but in the admission of it, u r already facing it and in the process of overcoming it so that u r strengthened even more. "Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might." when u overcome weakness, u become strong in faith.
only in the strength of God's power can u admit, overcome, and be strengthened in weakness. He is our strength. once we grasp that, our weakness has no power to hold us back.

23 June 2013


what a nice weekend it has been.

the many things that have happened in the past few weeks r many. here goes...

the end of May saw our car half in and half out of the garage due to an small engine overhaul. the engine was removed on Friday, cleaned, parts replaced, and put back together on Saturday. however, one minor or "major" part had broken. the cover for the timing chain. it broke in a place that could not be fixed. the part was ordered on Saturday but would not be here until the next week. so the car engine was put back in the car but not completely reattached. on Wednesday the part arrived and was put on and the engine secured with the mounting bolts. a very good and thorough job was done by my hubby. i really think he enjoys doin' things like that. 8)
in the beginning of June, we took part in a bike rally that u can read all about it in http://myridecannondalesl-4.blogspot.com/ i am very proud of my accomplishment. i am looking forward to another bike rally challenge as soon as hubby is able. the bike is becoming a good outlet to relive stress, "fix problems", and just clear my head and mind. i find myself looking forward to the rides. don't think i don't fight the urge to just sit around, play games, or do my crotchet cuz i do battle that. i'm still in the process of changing my mind set and my wanting to be just plain lazy. i don't always conquer those bad habits i'm trying to break and change. but i am making progress.
hubby is doin' really good considering he had arthroscopc knee surgery 2 days after we rode in the bike rally. the surgeon did an excellent job in repairing the damage of torn meniscus. one of the tears was worse than seen on the MRI. the horizontal tear went from one end to the other. he was quite surprised that hubby did not have a complete knee blowout. after the surgery, he has taken only 3 of the pain meds. and that was due to overdoing the exercises and walking. he had no pain directly after the surgery. he, however, is itching to get back on the bike. but he has been a very good boy and stayed off the bike and even has refrained from doin' his normal walks, tho he does a reduced stress walk. he gets to get back on the bike within the next week or 2 but only light/easy riding. it will be difficult for him to do that but i think he will. will give him a chance to work on his cadence/rhythm and timing. i'm hoping that he will take a midnite ride with me. we'll see. 8)

my bff and i have been able to get together only once so far but tomorrow should be a good day to play a game of cards and have a good time. i'm glad God has returned my bff. i truly missed her. i even tried to find another friend that could replace her but i found no one that could replace her. i am really glad of that. 8)
the church i have been attending has made their move and name change. sadly, the drive is now an hour for me. but i hope to be able to go up there in the near future. the home groups will be my main thing now. and next month, i'll rejoin the Voyager's group. i pray that God will continue to lead Pastor Michael, his wife, Heather, Pastor Chris, and his wife, Melody closer to Him and to a fullness in the power of all God has for them and the new adventure they r leading us on. it is nice to have leadership that is after the very heart of God. thanks Pastor Michael!
that's about it. hope u find all that u seek especially if u seeking the One who can fulfill it.

04 June 2013


this is the greatest and truest description for a Friend.....

Friends.......They love you, 
But they're not your lover. 

They care for you,
But they're not from your family. 

They're ready to share your pain,
But they're not your blood relation. 

They are........FRIENDS! !!!! 

A True friend...... .
Scolds like a DAD..
Cares like a MOM..
Teases like a SISTER..
Irritates like a BROTHER..
And finally loves you for YOU. 

The nicest place to be is in someone's THOUGHTS! 
The safest place to be is in someone's PRAYERS!

14 May 2013

so much goin' on

there is so much goin' on in my head the past few days.

in february, i started riding the bike my hubby got me. all the extra stuff he picked up with the bike really makes the ride nice.

Kaylee, my hubby's dog, has begun to dig. she is not known for that. it was something i had to deal with with my Brahka. hubby thinks Kaylee is feeling anxiety over separation. guess it's finally sinking in that Brahka isn't coming home. with that said, i still feel the emptiness Brahka left when i let her go. even now the tears come to my eyes. some find their way down silently on my cheeks. hubby wants me to walk but i refuse. really don't like walking and really don't like walking alone. he has suggested taking Kaylee but i won't do it. Kaylee isn't my dog, she never has been my dog. Kaylee is my hubby's dog. once again, i must live without a four-legged companion. it will be a while b4 i get another four-legged companion as the one i want costs a bit more than hubby is willing to spend. only time will tell if i ever get the one i am wanting. i will not settle for one i do not want. wouldn't be fair to the dog. i believe that when u choose to have a pet, u need to commit to that animal. tho i committed, i wasn't always the best. those memories hurt. but i know that Brahka loved me cuz she would always come where i was. i miss that little dog.

this past weekend was made very special on Sunday. after i returned from church, hubby took me to the movies and then a good dinner. movie: IRONMAN 3 dinner: OLIVE GARDEN
really enjoyed the movie. now i need to see the second one. :) maybe we can get the blurays. hubby made me feel special on Mother's Day. i really am truly blessed to have a man like him.
the next day, i read what my youngest daughter wrote. she really touched my heart. it was so beautiful.

Monday, May 13th, my sister, Chris would have been 49. however, she has been in Heaven since Feb1978. even tho it's been that long ago since she left this earth, i have not forgotten. i often wonder what life would be like if she were still here. what would i be doin'? would i have made different choices? how different would not only my life but my family's life have been back in 1978. so many questions that won't be answered. many things would be different i'm sure. but enough of the wondering. life is now and the past is the past but missing my sister has never diminished. tho my loss is much less than what my mother must go thru. i can't imagine the pain of loosing a child. even tho mom has the peace that passes all understanding, it still must ache in her heart not having her around. mom is so strong. hope i can be the same in a similar situation, if that situation ever comes around.

as u can see, i have had lots of thoughts goin' thru my mind. riding my bike helps me "fix it all". riding the bike can really help in getting the mind cleared and ready for the day when the ride happens in the mornin'. however, with the heavy wind this mornin', i chose not to ride but get the recepts scanned into the system. the bike will be riden. my legs r wanting to get on it and go. but the rain is coming tomorrow and i still have lots of paperwork to scan into the system. i know that's no excuse but it's the truth. have put off doin' the scanning of receipts for 3 months. time to get my chores completed so i can enjoy the fun things without coming back to have the chores staring me in the face. hopefully, i will keep up with receipts and not let them go for so long.

there is one person that has carried me thru all the questions, pain, hurts, and joys. that one person is God. He has given me the comfort, strength, peace, and hope to get thru each and every situation and trial in my life. God has been there when i would not let anyone else in. Psalm 46:10 is so true: "Be still and know that I am God". when i am still, i can hear God speak and listen to Him telling me how much He loves me. He shares with me exactly what i need and i am refreshed and renewed.i truly am blessed.

just had to get that out. i feel a lot better now. 8)
Psalm 91:1,2: He that dwells in the secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. And I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in Him I will trust.

09 April 2013


today is a day that is weird.
woke up with a stuffed up head and in a kind of a fog. focusing on anything is not really happening.
supposed to have my bff here but didn't go to bed til 0700 hrs this mornin' even tho she said in skype that she should go back to bed. however, she ended up staying up all nite. 8) i, however, went to bed just b4 midnite. tried to sleep in but couldn't. so, i waited for the time we were supposed to gtg.
decided to text her that my hubby was here and let her know it was ok to cancel today, if she chose to. her hubby texted me back on her phone letting me know what happened. 8) i texted back that is was ok and to let sleep. it is difficult to go "normal" for 2 days when u work at nite. texted her back to let know we would plan for another day.
my hubby is now trying to make me feel better by making sure i am ok and offering to get me anything i might need or want. what thoughtful guy. 8) my head is in a funk and my eyes just want to "zone".
we'll see what happens as this thing progresses.
hubby is finally getting over it.
maybe i'll try to crotchet a bit later on. but not sure. i do want to watch the games this evening. 8)

17 March 2013

what is a friend?

~ a friend is one who listens to u chatter about everything and nothing.

~ a friend will tell u like it is and then stand by u.

~ a friend will walk away for a time when things get rocky then returns.

~ a friend true friend lifts u up to Father God and prays for healing for u.

~ a friend will never let u go!

sometimes a friend has to walk away and let the other get to a point of decision. all the while praying for that person. the pain of not sharing for an extended period of time is hard. but praying thru it and trusting God helps to ease the separation.

so many thoughts and questions have raced thru my mind. What did i do? could i have been more open and talked about things? but what things could i have changed? or talked about? y did my friend push me away? was i not a good enough friend? all these thoughts/questions have passed thru my mind. but each time, God told me, "It's not u, it's her." i continued praying for my friend as well as me. i want to make sure that i won't cause a problem for her and i want to be the best friend i can be.

it's been a long time, but God answers in His time. i was wondering if my friend and i would ever be friends again. how long do i wait? i wait until God sends an answer.

and a few days ago, He did.

here is part of the conversation that took place on March 11th: (names r removed for privacy)

[00:11:35] Tawli: i know u do... that's y it's been so hard. i really don't have anyone to talk to but God.
[00:13:17] friend: i dont have noone either i am ashamed of myself for building a wall between us,dont know why but i did,you have done no wrong its me
[00:14:25] Tawli: and all this time, i thought it was me...
[00:17:42] friend: no Tawli it never was you its me thats what i have been dealing with i told mom last night the one and only person i trust is Tawli and me being stupid built a wall on what others have said about me i always felt safe around her we had nothing but fun and I AND ONLY I DESTROYED IT,mom said then tell Tawli I told her I couldnt
[00:18:46] Tawli: u just did :)
[00:19:08] friend: I know i am so ashamed
[00:19:44] friend: i hate me right now,it has botherd me all this time i have no joy anymore
[00:20:16] friend: i just am here thats it
[00:20:50] Tawli: that's where the book of James can help. it will show u how to retrieve the joy of the Lord and how to give it away.
[00:21:08] friend: all i do is cry,i just dont want to live any more but i do for the grandkids
[00:23:54] Tawli: my friend, if u don't get ur relationship with God back in order, u will loose ur grandkids. and i don't mean physically or custody. i mean spiritually.
[00:24:31] friend: i know but i cant do it alone
[00:25:10] Tawli: u may not like to read, but open up that Bible to James 1 and take one section or chapter at a time. then reread it and right down what u r feeling.
[00:25:30] friend: i never was the person just to read you all ways broke it down where i could understand it better
[00:25:46] Tawli: no u can't do it alone. but u have to be willing to bear open even the deepest and most secretive places to God.
[00:26:04] friend: \ok
[00:27:10] Tawli: u really r not alone.
[00:28:41] friend: yes i am you are not here soooooooooooooo yes i am
[00:28:51] friend: now what?
[00:30:53] Tawli: u know that song, I will stand by u. I will help u thru. when u've done all u can do and u can't cope. i will dry your eyes. i will fight ur fight. I will hold u tight. and I won't let go.
[00:31:15] Tawli: it's not just talking about a physical person being there.
[00:31:27] friend: so why did you let go?
[00:31:36] Tawli: i never let go
[00:31:51] friend: even when i needed you wait never mind i let go
[00:32:44] Tawli: u see, i have never let go. even when i could no longer be there physically
[00:32:55] friend: do you have my new cell number?i lost your number when my old phone quit working
[00:33:04] Tawli: i always lifted u up to God.
[00:33:37] Tawli: no, i don't have ur new #
[00:34:00] Tawli: and many times, i had tears in my eyes.
[00:34:34] Tawli: my problem is i don't cry. at least not where people can see.
[00:35:20] friend: i know but you even quit callin me...my cell had your number i had been without a phone for months,thats why i never called my phone quit working i had your number stored when my phone quit working i lost your number had no way of calling you
~{just chatting}~
[00:54:15] Tawli: i have been wondering if and/or when u would return.
[00:54:22] friend: never will let go,i promise that,i am only human but will do better about self
[00:57:35] Tawli: so next time i come over and knock on ur door to give u a hug or say "HI, u won't tell tony to tell me that i'm sleeping or not feeling well, right?
[00:58:15] Tawli: cuz i really want to come over and give u a hug as soon as i can.
[00:59:20] Tawli: it'll prolly be when i come over to give her belated b-day gift. we only have one vehicle now as the truck sits in driveway broken
[00:59:46] friend: told you before have no reason to lie

it totally blew me away. must be honest tho, i was still wondering if this were really true. so we made plans to gtg on a friday nite.
let me tell ya, it was good to hang with my friend again.
i am looking forward to sharing more friend times with her. hopefully, we can enjoy bowling, cards, and whatever else we can think of soon.
one thing i will not stop doin' for my friend is praying for her. more than anything else i want her to experience a deeper relationship with God, Jesus and Holy Spirit. i hope that she will dig deep and let God have all she carries. the freedom of not having those uglies inside is so freeing. i am still walking it. i have come a long way but still have a long way to go. maybe we can walk the road together. might make it a bit easier.
a friend that walks with u is a friend willing to stick with u thru whatever comes their way, even if it means separating for a while.
i truly hope i have found that friend, again. 8)

24 February 2013

bike ride

today i did my first 26 mile ride with my hubby on the white rock trails.,
we started just a couple miles north of Forest Ln at about 1430 hrs. ken was able to ride at speed but i am still getting my stamina, cadence, and speed up to where i can keep up with him. so, i trailed him most of the day.
after the first 10 miles i stopped and hydrated myself and did so every 5 miles after that. i figured it would be a good pace for me as well as small goals to meet. because of me being a lot slower than my hubby, he was continually checking on me. so glad for the walkie talkies. it saved him from having to backtrack a lot.
i really didn't look at the surroundings much as i was always telling myself to keep goin'. it was quite difficult at times because the wind was very strong, about 15-20 miles with gusts even stronger. i did however take time to look around when i stopped to drink water.
i am so sore right now. my butt is what hurts the most. u see,sitting on the bike seat, even with padding, can be very sore. i have to get what is called a "bikers butt". then it won't be so bad. until then, i suffer with the pain. 8) but it's definitely worth it as i am spending time with my hubby as well as exercising.
i am so tired right now but i feel so good.
after the bike ride, we changed clothes, put the bikes away and went for a good salad at Olive Garden. there we had the all u can eat salad and breadsticks with an appetizer. that's all. it was just perfect!
can't wait to do it again! eventually, i will be able to put on a cargo trailer and go shopping for groceries at our nearby market.. i am so looking forward to that. 8) well, better call it a nite as i am so tired and sore.
until next time....


19 February 2013


August 1998

the journey for Brahka and me began on August 30th. she was born as the runt of a litter of 4 pups from our rescue dog Lady. Brahka was very small but fought for every meal from her mother. i chose the runt to keep for my own and asked God to make her a pup that would follow me everywhere. when she was weaned Brahka moved from her mothers bed to my pillow right above my head..
Brahka looked just her mother. she had the tan/brown fur with a dark stripe down her back, that lightened as the years went by. Her ears stood strait up and she looked like Yoda at times with her expressions and ear movements, which got her the nickname Yoda from my husband. i like to call her puppers. She was short legged with the wired-haired carine terrier look, the jack russel leap, and great disposition.

as Brahka grew she played and got underfoot a lot. i was beginning to wonder if i should have asked for something else from God when i asked God for a dog that would follow me everywhere. but i was glad to have a pet that was mine and that loved me and followed. she continued to sleep on my pillow for almost a full year.

in the winter of 1999, we lost her mother, Lady, by way of our doberman, who was subsequently put down. a new dog entered our family in the form of a border collie, who is a much better family dog. the two dogs became good buddies. Brahka began taking care of the new puppy like it was her own. Kaylee continued to get bigger and bigger as border collies r medium-sized dogs but Brahka never stopped mothering her.

thru the years, the 2 dogs entrenched themselves into the family. vet visits, tho expensive, were done with care and treats. about 2002 or 2003, they both tested positive for heartworm and were put on treatment for about 1 year. with checkups every 6 months. the final test for heartworm was complete 3 yrs later. both dogs were free of the thing but placed on the heartworm prevention IVERHART PLUS and it has done very well for both dogs.

in late 2007, we almost lost Brahka. my youngest daughter found her under my sewing table half dead. our other dog, Kaylee was a bit aggressive towards her according to my daughter. Katie called us and at first we thought it was Kaylee until we arrived home. it was Brahka. Katie had brought her out to the car and then headed for an open vet hospital. with it being a saturday, our regular vet was not open so we took her to a vet hospital that was. they immediately took her back to a room and started working on her. they did not give much hope for her but gave every effort to bring her back. she was in the hospital for about a week. they were able to bring her back but never figured out what caused her body to shut down. none of the tests they did on her showed anything specific. so i nursed her back to her old self following the instructions given with meds. i was so happy to have her back. within a month, she was chasing Kaylee around again.
Brahka has been the best friend a girl could ask for. she was there each time i returned home from being out jumping up and down. her favorite place to be petted/scratched was on her tummy. when u reached down to pet her, she would immediately roll on her back and expose her tummy. and because of that, i had her jump in my arms so i could scratch her tummy without having to bend over. she also had a way of "talking" with her yipes and sounds she made. each nite around 2100 hrs, she would sit and look at me or my hubby. just sit there staring at us. if that didn't get our attention, she would give a little quiet yipe. it was her way of telling us it was time for treats. Kaylee did not ask for treats, but was ready if they were being handed out. Brahka would lick my hubby's legs as if "getting on his good side" as she impatiently waited for us to get the treats. once treats were given, she daintily took it and scooted off to eat it.
another time she would "talk" is when she had to go outside to do her business. once again, she would sit and look at u, just staring at u. if that didn't work, she would place her paws on my leg if i was sitting, or jump up and down to get my attention as she hit my legs. those usually got my attention. (tho at times, i would do it on purpose just to have her jump on me.) when she was ready to come back in, she would stand at the door and "look". the funniest thing. if she saw me or my hubby, she would wag her tail or sit down and shake like she was cold and give u those sad puppy dog eyes as best she could. she usually got let in but other times, she had to stay outside. my Brahka was definitely an indoors dog. a few times we would her a clanking of paws and nails on the glass window door. we looked, saw Brahka trying to "break" the glass to get in cuz she didn't want to stay outside. she wanted to be where i was. i had to clean the bottom of the glass door because of that on a regular basis. such a great dog.

many a nite my hubby would have his feet licked as he lay in bed goin' to sleep. she was known as the lickinest dog around. her tongue never stopped. if she was sitting/lying down, u could see her cleaning herself or grooming. we teased how her tongue was the length of her body. we often witnessed her cleaning Kaylee's ears regularly as her tongue seemed to be long enough to reach way down the ear canal. Brahka would also lick anything else she could reach. she really liked licking noses. so when our grandchildren were on the floor, she would do her best to clean their faces. my daughter did not like that. so we had to put our puppers outside.

my puppers, how i miss her.
this mornin' between 0900 and 1000 hrs, we said goodbye.

in August 2012, i noticed a lump growing in her abdomen. told my hubby about it and he said it was just a fatty mass, similar to what Kaylee had earlier that year. but i knew it wasn't. but because of the situation at home i did not push it. i continued to watch it, knowing that in February 2013, they would go in for their yrly checkup. the lump continued to grow and became quite hard. still i waited without saying anything more to my hubby. from the time i checked it in January to the time of the dogs vet app't February 15th, the lump had grown twice as large and now involved 2 of the right side teats in her abdomen.
the day of their app't, Kaylee was examined first. her's was routine and she was given the required shots. then it was Brahka's turn. when i lifted her up i showed Dr. Ann what i was so concerned about. her face said it all even before the word "malignant" was spoken. i saw in her expression of surprise a sadness. i placed Brahka on the table and Dr. Ann looked her over and gave her the shots. she then examined the mass a bit more closely. i asked about a biopsy to find out what it might be. x-rays were taken three spots were found in her lungs, i knew in my heart that they were cancer. but i said nothing. Dr. Ann said they were nothing and the biopsy/surgery could be done. it was set up for today, Tuesday, February 19, 2013 at 1000 hrs. we left the vet hospital after paying the bill with heavy hearts.
all weekend, i fretted over what to do. my hubby reassured me that surgery was ok with him but if i wanted to stop her pain, that was ok too. i weighed all my options. i thought about the fact that the surgery would be expensive, the fact that Brahka could die on the table, what kind of life she might have after the surgery, and her age, 13yrs. all of this i weighed and could come to only one conclusion. i had to end her suffering. i had already put her thru too much by not taking care of the thing in August. i have kicked myself several times over that.
i made my decision on Monday, February 18th and told my hubby. in my sewing room, i sat and cried as i watched my little puppers try to stay with me but could not bear the pain of the hardness of the carpet. she went to her bed. every so often she would come in and check on me, try to lay down and get comfy but would end up leaving for her soft bed. just before i called it a nite on monday, i remembered her look in the eyes. they were tired and almost totally lifeless. it seems she was trying to hang on for me. thinkin' of this brings tears and sobs to me.
we arrived at the vet hospital at 0845 hrs on Tuesday, February 19th. i lifted Brahka up and placed her on the reception desk with my arms wrapped around her. she was shaking like she was scared. but i held her gently there as i let them know that i would not be doin' the surgery but saying goodbye. after waiting a short time, we were escorted to an exam room. after another short wait, Dr. Ann came in and explained what would happen and had me sign a release giving permission to put Brahka to sleep. when she left, i held Brahka as she stood on the exam table. hubby took a few pics as tears ran down my face. Dr. Ann re-entered the room and gave her a sedative to calm her as she was very alert. 10 minutes later, Dr. Ann came back with the drug to put her down. at approximately 0945hrs, Brahka passed quietly into the arms of her Creator. i stroked her head as she passed, even before the drug was completed. i stroked her head a bit more before picking up her lifeless body, cradling her in my arms, and saying my final goodbye. one of the techs came in and made a paw print from her left front paw. then we left.
it has been less than a day and the tears still fall freely. i know she was an animal but she was part of the family and so very loved by me and my family. she will be sorely missed..

this is the last pic taken before Dr. Ann came in and put her to sleep. it took 10 minutes for the sedative to take affect.

11 February 2013

my thoughts

the first weekend/week of February has already been an adventure.
Feb 1 - my hubby had a scare that took him almost a week to get over. and it still isn't complete but he isn't as tense any more. the whole thing should be done in another month or less.
Feb 5 - i learned that my youngest daughter had been lying to me. tho i had an inkling that she was. i really wanted to believe her. but i found myself questioning what she was telling me. there r just some things a mother knows that can't be explained how or y i know. i just knew something wasn't right. and now i know i was right about it.
Feb 9 - i get to see my youngest daughter as her now fiance' asks her father if he can marry her. she is beaming and he is nervous as all get out.
Feb 10 - i get an explanation from my hubby about the conversation and he feels i betrayed him by not telling him what i knew.
so now i am feeling like blah.
how do u communicate something u haven't come to terms with yourself? i had no idea how to tell him cuz everytime i would try to talk to him, i was told to keep quiet, u can't handle the truth, or it was turned around and blame put on me. how do u talk to someone that has done that thru out. i keep quiet a lot because even i think it is my fault, even when it's not. guess it's just easier to take the blame that try to explain. there is a lot more to it but i won't get into that. i have been trying to live in the now and not in the past. but when all i have is the past to learn from, how do i make the right choice? apparently, i made the wrong choice in this situation. there is so much inside me that wants to come out but doesn't because no one wants to hear what i have to say. the times i do speak, it's to share on a specific topic. sometimes i just want to share what's inside about whatever. but being told to keep quiet most of my life is sometimes difficult to get thru and just speak.
it's the same with crying, whether it be tears of joy of not. i don't cry out loud because i was told to shut up or told, "if u don't stop, i'll give u something to cry about." because of that, i feel like an outsider. i can sometimes feel the stares i get when i don't show the tears or emotions in a tender moment or even in a difficult time. the tears well up in my eyes but i keep them from truly falling until i am alone and then let it go. i find it difficult to let that particular emotion show.
there is so much inside of me that wants to come out but that i have to keep in check just to please others, namely my husband. i admit that being loud watching a ballgame, is a way i release some of the pent up emotion inside me. the full-blown emotion is rather strong.
when it comes to communicating what is inside, is harder. it takes putting thoughts and feelings into words and speaking them. kinda difficult for me. a lot of times my thoughts and words r mixed up and don't make sense. all i am doin' is getting the words out. having the words make sense in the thought i'm trying to convey makes it difficult for the other person, but that don't mean they need to tell me to keep quiet or butt in or even say anything. sometimes, i just need to speak what's on my mind/heart. if not allowed to that, how do i learn?
hopefully, this week will be much less stressful but more "normal".

we'll see....

04 February 2013

just thinkin' out loud

had jury duty watch this mornin' but when i called, they said i wasn't needed. i know it is a privilege to serve on a jury but i am so glad i am not chosen. have never sat on a jury b4. to be honest, i'm nervous about it. it's quite a lot holding someone's life in ur hands and giving a judgement on whether they r guilty or not. i prefer to be dismissed.
i have strong feelings about someone breaking the law. it's horrible when it happens, even if it's just stealing a pack of gum. it's wrong. i was raised to obey the law. i have gotten tickets for speeding, making illegal u-turns, and that sort of stuff. in all cases, i have paid the financial penalty. and i really should not have done those things. it sets back examples for my children and grandchildren.
jury duty is a privilege that some people r very capable of handling but i have not ever wanted to be part of one. there is just too much at stake, not only for the ones on trial but the juror themselves. the decision made will be with them forever. i don't know if i can handle that.

in other news... 8)
i turn the big 5 0 tomorrow. i'm amazed i made it to this age. not sure how much wiser i am but i am grateful that God loves me enough to keep me around here to enjoy life, have relationship with Him, my family, friends, and grandkids. it's just amazing at how God has kept me safe all these years.
hubby is doin' well. tho we had a scare this past weekend. but things r being taken care of. it had to do with our house mortgage. he banged open my sewing room door as he was grabbing his chest and said, "we have to get out from under GreenTree. the stuff i read about that company literally scares me."
he tried sleeping but couldn't really well. i mean hubby was white as a ghost. it scared me but all i did was walk over to him, take both his hands, and give him a hug and pray. i kept my fear from coming out by breathing deep and asking Holy Spirit to keep me calm, which He did. hubby was up before the sun on the phone with Texas Lending and talked to an actual person who helped calm him down and asked him to call back after 0800 hrs. after talking at length with Daniel, hubby had calmed down enough to think strait and not shake so much.
i have never seen him so scared about loosing our home.
Daniel sent paperwork that we electronically signed as well print out paperwork that we signed, scanned in, and sent via email on Saturday. once hubby received confirmation that Daniel had the emails, he was even more calm. process is actually started today as banks r closed on weekends for this sort of thing. we should hear something in a few days.
until we physically sign on the dotted line, hubby won't rest.
i can say this tho, thru it all Holy Spirit has kept me calm. His peace is what has helped me handle the situation. i am grateful for the teaching from my mom. there's a song that says, "when i'm scared, i bow my head and pray like my mother does". and that is exactly what i do. i watched her do it so many times as a child, and even now as an adult, i see my mom bow her head and pray no matter where she is. THANKS MOM! 8)

30 January 2013

forgotten God

what comes to mind when u see those words, 'forgotten God'? God, the father, Jesus, the Son?
what about the 3rd person of God's character, His Spirit. the Spirit that resides in us and helps us be the hands and feet and sometimes the voice of God.
Jesus lived the example we r to be. we read many stories about how Jesus walked to and fro and worked beside those he talked with. sitting at tables that a lot of people would choose not to be a part of. well, Jesus is physically not here right now but God's spirit remains here on earth for us. God's Spirit can do more than what Jesus in physical form could do. God's Spirit resides within each created person. but sadly, many choose to ignore God's Spirit and go a different way.
here r some questions i have asked in the past: how do i allow God's Spirit to fully be alive within me? how do i be an example of Jesus that God's Spirit can work thru and see even the smallest of miracles? what do i have to do? where do i express God's Spirit?

the first ?, 'how do i allow God's Spirit to fully be alive within me?
relationship. spending time with God by talking with Him, pouring over His written Word thru studying, and listening ever so closely for God's voice to speak with u. that is how u open and allow God's Spirit to fully be alive within. i go thru my day chatting with God in my spirit and sometimes i can hear Him converse with me. still working on the listening stuff but getting better.
the 2nd ?, 'how do i be an example of Jesus that God's Spirit can work thru and see even the smallest of miracles?'
as u go thru your day, do the little things at first like smiling at someone or saying "hi". maybe u can help someone, walk with them, comfort them, be a real friend, or just listen. actions speak so loud when words r rarely heard by others. people remember what u do. words can sometimes be misconstrued but actions cannot.
the 3rd ?, 'what do i have to do?'
make yourself available to God. as u chat with Him, let God know u r willing to be His hands and feet, as well as a voice, if needed. because Jesus is no longer physically here, we r the physical hands and feet of God now.
the 4th ?, 'where do i express God's Spirit?'
God has given us the command to "go into all the world". the "all the world" might be your street, city, state, or it could literally mean all the world. God will tell u where u r to be His hands and feet. everyday living is what most of us do. we go to get up, go to work, come home. in all we do during the day, we have opportunity to express God's Spirit: home, job, recreation. God provides the opportunity, we have to be willing to put action to God's Spirit within us.

so my ? to u is: do u know the forgotten God?

18 January 2013

r u smarter than a 60-year-old?

below i am posting a bit of trivia fun that was sent to me by my mom. enjoy and laugh at what u remember as well as don't remember. some of the answers were on the tip of my tongue but i couldn't remember them. but i definitely remember them. anyway enjoy! 8)


The answers are printed below, (after the questions)
But don't cheat! Answer them first.

01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, The grateful citizens would ask, Who was that masked man?
Invariably, someone would answer, I don't know, but he left this behind.
What did he leave behind? ____ ______ ______.
02. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. In early 1964,
We all watched them on The ___ _________ Show.
03. 'Get your kicks, ____ ________ ____.'
04. 'The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to ________ ____ _______.'
05. 'In the jungle, the mighty jungle,
___ _____ _____ __________.'
06. After the Twist , the Mashed Potato , and the Watusi ,
We 'danced' under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go In a dance called the '_____________.'
07. Nestle's makes the very best _____________.'
08. Satchmo was America 's 'Ambassador of Goodwill.'
Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us.
His name was ____ _____________.
09. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? ________ _______.
10. Red Skeleton's hobo character was named _______ ___ ________
And Red always ended his television show by saying,
'Good Night, and '_____ ________.'
11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War Did so by burning their ______ ________.
12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front Was called the VW. What other names did it go by? ___ _______ & ___ __________.
13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, 'the day the music died.'
This was a tribute to ________ ___________.
14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit.
The Russians did it. It was called ___________________.
15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's Was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist.
It was called the _______ - _______.

01. The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet .
02. The Ed Sullivan Show .
03. ON Route 66
04. To protect the innocent .
05. The Lion Sleeps Tonight .
06. The limbo
07. Chocolate
08. Louis Armstrong
09. The Timex watch
10. Freddy, The Freeloader and 'Good Night and God Bless.'
11. Draft cards
( Bras were also burned . Not flags, as some have guessed)
12. Beetle or Bug
13. Buddy Holly
14. Sputnik
15. Hoola-hoop

14 January 2013


last nite i went to my group, Voyagers. a group for older adults. very interesting discussion. u can find my notes on nana's web page.. the fellowship was wonderful! i am really enjoying it.

today, i found out that my hubby is being sued over a wreck he was involved in in Nov 2012. we'll see how that pans out. I know God is in control and will take care of the situation. i am resting in Him.

finally started on the alterations my hubby asked me to do on his t-shirts that r now way too big on him. the first one was almost perfect! just a few changes and it should be just right. will complete them on the morrow.

i am beginning to "feel" better about doin' things i want to do. most of the time, i would put aside what i wanted to do to please the other person(s). i am beginning to balance them out and enjoy doin' for me as well as others. i still prefer staying home and playing my games or doin' what i want. but i am venturing out and getting out of my comfort zone and making friends. it feels good to make friends and fellowship with those that believe like me. they help keep me accountable. i like that.

there is so much to do and 24 total hrs in each day to accomplish it. what will u accomplish?

09 January 2013

it's a new year

the year has only begun and already it's goin' by so fast. it's so different now that both kids r out of the house. there is so much "me" time, i don't know what to do with myself.

i have decided to try something new that requires me to stretch my brain out. and u know what? i'm looking forward to it. i am currently learning about what makes the computer do all the wonderful stuff we see. the operating system i am gonna attempt to understand just a little is called Linux. i found a free class that u do on your own. it literally teaches u from the very beginning with how to make a line command. and for me, i truly need that. the first, lesson 0, introduces u to the simplicity of the line command structure. tho, to me, it's not really all that simple. but as i get deeper into the course, it will prolly become second nature to me like it is to my hubby.

the operating system is what makes the computer what it is. all the video, pics, backgrounds, and games we enjoy on the computer and internet all start with a command line that tells it what to do, how to do it, and how it should look. just clicking on the "X" is the simplistic way of shutting down an application. but do u know how many command lines r involved in that one little action? quite a few i can tell u.

as i go thru the course, i might share what i am learning, and maybe even my mess-ups. and i'm sure i'll have plenty of those. but i will learn and then i will try to make an RPG game. there r many scripts already set up for me to use. all i have to do is choose the one i want.

the challenge is b4 me. i accept the challenge. so i begin this journey...