hhhmmmm.....

it has been 15yrs since my dad graduated from this life to heaven. and it's still difficult to "get in the spirit of Christmas". by that i mean decorating and putting up the tree. but each year i put up the decorations and finally the tree. but the things my dad did were special. even tho i was far away and unable to spend the last few years with them at Christmas, the memories are still there. and the pain of him not here physically with us is present still.

and now, i am unable to see my grandchildren due to the fact that their mother, my daughter, is angry with me.
a few weeks ago, i promised my granddaughter that we could make cookies together for Christmas. i called and left a message for my daughter to let her know. i got no response. in hopes that my granddaughter would still come, i prepared the sugar cookies this morning and hoped for the best. my granddaughter got out of school at 1100hrs and was supposed to come right over to my house. it is now 1145hrs and she has not shown up. i am saddened by what her mother is doin'. it's only hurting my granddaughter and herself. and all this stems from my daughter not being able to control me and what i do. it's difficult watching her do these things and think she's gonna get what she wants. but even tho it hurts me to stand where i am and what i believe, i will let God deal with her and i will make sure i pray for her and her family. i hope and pray that my daughter will learn that she cannot control anything and that control is an illusion that steals the joy out of moment. when, and if, she learns that life will be so much more enjoyable. resting, trusting, and leaving the control to God is so much more peaceful.

well, i better get to those sugar cookies i don't get to share with my granddaughter.